momtourage

new month

This week O has been in MA visiting with my folks. I miss her terribly but know that she is having a grand time. Yesterday they went to the Providence Children's Museum, where fun was clearly had.

 

I miss her terribly but am relishing not making lunches every night and scrambling to make supper to eat by 6:30. J and I managed to go out to eat twice and go shopping for house things we needed. Today he has taken off for a bike ride to WestPoint and I am doing laundry and priming a wall to paint tomorrow. I have grand ideas of finishing a sweater I've been working on, crafting up some other things, and cooking. Oh, and work my CSA shift tomorrow.

I can't wait for O to come back Sunday. Happy Fourth, everyone!

Weaned.

They're mine. All mine. I don't have to share them if I don't want to. I am talking about my boobs. These saggy, shriveled up things attached to my chest that, after 15 months, belong only to me.

The truth is, I'm not 100% giddy about weaning my second child. There's some sadness mixed in. Nursing my children has been a joy and comfort in my life as well as theirs. The sweet elixir that soothed all sorts of troubles - hunger, bumped heads, fevers, sleeplessness - gave me prime access to cuddles, hair-stroking, butterfly kisses and serious inspection of eye color, freckles, the slope of a nose, the curve of an ear lobe. There's nothing I didn't memorize about that face as he greedily drained each breast, nothing I couldn't tell you about each of his fingers, his toes, his lumpy little skull.

I weaned him for many reasons... some health-related (it appears as though my high blood pressure gene has reared its ugly head and I need to be on medication) and others, personal. I wanted my body back. I wanted to lose those last 10 lbs that seemed to stubbornly stick with me while nursing. I just felt... ready. And Ben was more interested in playing than gazing adoringly into my eyes while nursing.

As it turned out, we were both ready, because weaning was a piece of cake. And here we are two weeks later, Ben and I, in the awkward position of trying to find new ways to be close. He doesn't want to cuddle much before bed. Our slow-to-rouse morning rituals have been replaced by getting up to prepare a sippy cup of milk. The easy, natural way we connected for the first year of his life has been disrupted. I know things will work themselves out, but it makes me a bit sad. 

But then, having my boobs back is pretty nice, spent as they may be.

(Post-boob sleep at 3 weeks old)

The Sky, Lately

True colors, 10 minutes apart. At least there's some sort of upside to all of this unsettled weather.

The start of summer vacation

O's last day of preschool was last week and there are two weeks to go before camp begins. Since I've only recently started the new job, it's J and O together this week. Every day has held an adventure and I often get pictures sent throughout the day. Brief captures of their adventures, fun, and smiles. 

I love to see them enjoying the free time together and I long to frolick with them. But, I also love to see them doing these things without me. I spent O's first years home with her. Trying to fill days, have adventures, while trying to get my freelance work done and keep the house working. I know that J always appreciated it, but I think he's now starting to understand it. And he's not even cooking and cleaning, just trying to keep up with O and get some of his work done. 

But there's also a big difference: their time like this is finite. This weekend O and I head to MA where she will stay for the week (I'm returning Sunday night). So J doesn't get the full experience of being the primary caregiver/entertainer when it's day after day for months on end.

I know that she won't have many memories of all the things we did together, every day, month after month, but she'll know that I was there. We're forging memories she and I, and as a family that she'll hold onto through the years. I'm so glad and lucky that my husband and daughter have this time to share, just them. I hope that she cherishes these memories as I do the memories of me and my dad having our own adventures.

Homesteading

As I walked past my local bookshop yesterday, I spied yet another farming book displayed in the window. Now, I have often pondered the hows and whys of beekeeping and of raising chickens in my own tiny backyard, and in spite of owning another book that would tell me exactly how to do so, thus far have failed to put these plans into action. I wondered how many other people in our neighborhood have similar (certainly well-intentioned) aspirations, and what percentage of them have actually taken the initiative.

I like to visit bookstores. For years in Maine I have noticed that many bookstores have a homesteading section - and that in used bookstores this tends to be a treasure trove of out of print books from the 60s and 70s  from the back-to-the land wave of that time. But thus far I have yet to see a homesteading section in a New York bookstore of any sort. Perhaps its shelf is coming soon, because it's definitely in the zeitgeist.

Footloose and Fancy-Free

 With our ancient Volvo crammed to the roof with sleeping bags, inflatable mattresses, tarps, an enormous 8 person tent acquired on Craigslist and a bevy of assorted camping gear deemed necessary by the oh-so-helpful Amazon.com reviewers, we headed off to the woods for our first family camping trip. The forecast assured there would be plenty of rain but we went anyway, for reasons unknown other than my deep, abiding feeling that this was a trip that needed to happen, come hell or well, high water.

And rain, it did. Pitter pat on the tent, slip slide down the muddy trail, rain drops clung to our every move and we often took cover under the tarps tied between the trees of our friends' campsite.

Despite the lousy conditions, we were happy. My 5 year old Annie discovered tiny, fuzzy caterpillars and christened each of them Inchy I, Inchy II, etc. She hunted for the perfect marshmallow stick, built fairy houses and even discovered a four-leaf clover. One-year old Ben gathered rocks in a bucket and happily dumped them out over and over again. Even my technophile husband put down Twitter, Facebook and all the rest to man the campfire and keep everyone fed. Never once did I see that iPhone steal his precious attention from the day's events. No one said, "I'm bored." No one said, "I want to watch a movie." No one said, "I have too much work to do." 

As for me, I looked up at that gray, brooding sky and realized why I'd packed us all up despite the foreboding weather and the flu that relented only days before we left. We needed to shed our city skin for a few days and find our way back, not just to nature, but to each other and to ourselves.

(photo by M. Shewmaker)

High Line

After months (years) of anticipation, we finally visited the High Line this weekend. In short, it was crowded but terrific. In fact it was undeniably wonderful. But we had been preparing for this particular experience for a long time, and really in earnest since a particularly lovely art-themed block party underneath it last September.

Helping to heighten our anticipation was the fact that Hank had been given a copy of a beautifully written and illustrated book inspired by the High Line called  The Curious Garden for his 5th birthday. This story of a boy and his unexpected urban garden enchanted the boys. We read it over and over and mentions of the High Line increased rapidly until it was finally open for foot traffic and then we could wait no longer. Even though it was supposed to rain we went and managed to time it right in between showers. Go there if you can.

Oh Yeah

I didn't have time to peruse all of the booths I wanted to at the Renegade Craft Fair, but I did manage to grab a card from a particular one as I was tugged past by - ahem - two little boys who were growing weary of crafts. And then yesterday as I was doing a huge clean + organize session (sparked by an early morning trip to the laundromat and the laundering of ALL linens that needed to be done) I found it. And I looked.

Apparently these guys have been all over Brooklyn, and I was just never in the right place at the right time to catch them. I love that they have reusable lunch bags  , super stylish t-shirts and sturdy totes that not only look great but carry an important message. I love the beauty of this cypress tree t-shirt.

 
   But of course it's the sentiment of this graphic that I relate to the most. And I know a few people who would feel exactly the same way. I just might have to plan a trip to Union Square Market this week to pick up a few items.

Rain + Indoors = Build

"It's a spy island."

"Is a dome for decoration or structure?"
(?!?! Luckily the library has a good architecture section in the children's area...)

Recession Busting Meal, part 2

Not the loveliest of meals, but again, a real kid pleaser and pleasing to me too in the it is superfast and inexpensive. Really, I don't know why those natural turkey cutlets are so cheap but I will accept it without question at this particular moment. (Did you know I overdrew my bank account for the first time since I was oh - 21 - two days ago?! Whoops.)

Yes, it is turkey schnitzel, served up with leftover peas, the remainder of the packet used to enliven last night's tuna noodle boodle. Oh, and brown rice. The kids ate and ate and were so sated they forgot to ask the eternal question. "Is there any dessert?"

By the way, I subscribed to notakeout yesterday (in case you are unaware - subscribe and you will be provided with a daily healthy and quick to make recipe for dinner) and today's meal looks like a winner.

Ribbon Tie Cardigan Pattern

Phew - I have gone over it a zillion times and am 99% sure the math is correct. Well, the first three sizes were professionally technically edited so I definitely know they are. So here it is: Download RibbonTie

Please let me know if you find any problems and I will correct them immediately!



This cardigan was born of a desire to have something simple to throw over a dress or to wear with jeans and a t-shirt as the need arose. The sleeves are slightly more fitted than others I've knit recently. And it is in seed stitch because I simply love this simple, classic stitch. I hope that you like it as much as I do.

Highlight

Since Hank is home so much, with only 2 1/2 hours of pre-K each day (that is, when it isn't canceled for workshops) we have made it a habit to visit the library once a week. And not just any old library, the really fancy main library at Grand Army Plaza, with a large children's wing, revolving exhibitions in the lobby, fountains, and now an inviting plaza with shaded tables and yummy food available. I swear, we could spend the whole day here.